A restart

Early this year, i hit rock bottom. I felt like a prisoner in my body; I felt utterly trapped in a job I had hanged on for too long;  And even though it seemed like I was winging meal-planning and chores, it was exponentially making me the cantankerous member of the family.

I had stopped breastfeeding many months before, so i knew i could no longer hide behind that excuse for what it is worth. I started with a few errant runs in spring afternoons and saturday morning yoga class. Both didnt sustain. My pace sucked and I winded up feeling worse. Yoga class felt really hard.

Both of these made me feel bad, since I had found so much solace in running many years back and yoga had complemented it like a song. So i tried the next best thing i knew, which was workout with a video at home. Nevertheless to say that was the worst, since I couldn’t wean myself from being a parent-first when i was at home and my workouts would stop when they have barely begun with wailing kids.

So i said enough is enough and like Alice would say “i can’t go back to yesterday because i was a different person then“. I first shed all the expectations from the past that i had about my fitness level.

Second, I decided to move my workouts outside the house and signed up with a personal trainer to get me moving. The singlemost thought that there was a person whose job was to show up and wait for me at 6 am, was reason enough to drag me out of bed. Within a month of that routine my mojo was slowly returning. The pace the trainer set for me really helped me ramp up amidst lots of soreness and feeling greats! It gave me a kick start.

What followed was many rocky emotional rides and tests of grit, over the next few months, fixing the other parts of my personal life as well. In between I changed jobs, found the courage to get back to running, get regular at yoga and even managed to survive a 10K run.

So the one class that really gets me going for the week is 1 hour tread tabata. I have signed up for the monday morning 6 am class and no matter how guilty i feel every sunday night for that extra scoop of icecream or binge meals and not working out over the weekend, come monday morning, I get a chance to reset. It is the hardest workout i do in the week and that helps!

Rest of the week, I do another strength/TRX class, one yoga and two runs, that i am hoping to make longer; And start running with a group on saturday mornings in my neighborhood.

How the workouts have helped me in ways i don’t fully fathom —

  1. I feel great. The constant lack of energy has definitely gone.
  2. I can easily lift my cast iron pans and invert them as needed with all the arm strength; The 3 liter grinder lifting is a breeze now.
  3. I am more relaxed about chores. I dont hold peeves/grudges 😀
  4. The amount of time i spend cooking, cleaning and planning meals has come down by half.
  5. I am back on green smoothie mornings and loving it.
  6. I am more efficient with my to-do lists at work and home. It doesnt come with an aura of stress around it.
  7. I am slowly finding my footing on professional front and it has had a spiral effect on my happiness quotient.
  8. “You are not yelling-amma anymore” is probably the best thing i heard my older child say in a long time!

I am so glad i decided to make the plunge to do this for myself. How we slip in our ways to handle our physical and mental well being as mothers. It doesnt get easier to restart.. But it is not hard either! Give it a shot 🙂


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